Divorce mediation keeps you in control

If you go through a court hearing for your divorce, do you realize that you are putting major decisions in your life in the hands of a judge? That is not to say that judges are not fair in most situations. Like all people, however, they may not see fairness the same way you do. Mediation in Connecticut is an alternative if you can find a way to get along with your soon-to-be ex-spouse or partner, at least long enough to negotiate your divorce agreement.

A lesbian couple in California provides a perfect example of why you might want a judge involved in your major life decisions. The couple was legally registered in California as domestic partners for over 10 years. They had two children in a rather creative manner. Each woman had used the sperm of the same male to fertilize one of her own eggs, and had the egg implanted in the other woman. In this way, the children each carried both of their genes and the genes of the same father.

When the relationship went sour, they decided to separate. However, the judge in their case spent more time trying to figure out the couple's relationship and creative child-bearing plan than getting down to business and making fair decisions on their behalf.

The couple decided that they did not want to place important decisions involving their children and them in the hands of someone who did not understand their relationship or their family. They opted for mediation instead.

In divorce mediation, a couple has an unbiased person work with them to come up with their "own" agreements on property division, child custody, support and other subjects of separation without going to court. This gives the two people who know their own needs the ability to have control of the final outcome of their agreements. A judge is often overloaded with cases and may only spend an hour reading a case file before making pertinent decisions that will impact a couple's lives going forward.