What are the Top Five Mistakes to Avoid in a Connecticut Divorce?

This Week’s Blog by Jaime S. Dursht

What are the Top Five Mistakes to Avoid in a Connecticut Divorce?

The divorce process is fraught with emotion which can lead to making mistakes with long-term effects.  Each divorce is different, however, here are some common mistakes we divorce attorneys see.

Is it a Disadvantage not to Understand Your Financial Situation?

Yes.  It is important at the outset of the divorce process to have an understanding of your personal and household expenses, liabilities, income and what assets there are to divide.  This will help in setting reasonable expectations as to the outcome and will help in planning for financial security moving forward, which is the ultimate goal.  Take the time to gather information, review your bank and credit card statements, and if you are not financially literate, take steps to educate yourself with the basics.

Is it Better to Settle Early in the Process?

Not necessarily.   Divorce is a highly emotional time, and it is easy to become overwhelmed by acrimony and the desire to give in just to end the emotional trauma.  This could be a costly mistake, however, because depending on the assets involved, it may be well worth taking the time to discover and fully vet out the values of business interests, trusts, stock options and pension benefits which you may be entitled to share.

Is it Worth Arguing the Details?

Often the expense of the argument can exceed the value of what it is you are trying to achieve in the first place.  Try not to get caught up in minor wins and losses of the negotiation process when it comes to the smaller details of, for instance, the method of payment of co-pays at the pediatrician’s office or the percentage point split of reimbursement for extracurricular activities.   It may feel like an emotional triumph in the short term, but may not be worth the expense in the overall cost of the divorce.

Should I Seek the Advice of Family and Friends?

It is not a good idea to rely on the advice of family and friends regarding your own divorce however well-meaning it is intended to be.  Just because your friend got the house and lump sum alimony in her divorce does not mean that you will or even should.  Every divorce is different, and one person’s experience does not readily translate into another’s.

Is it Better to Act First and Ask Later?

No.  It is always better to check with your attorney before taking action, especially if you are in an angry or depressed frame of mind.  Acting on impulse, for example cutting your spouse off from credit card use or denying access to marital funds to limit spending, can have adverse legal consequences.  Not only do these particular actions risk a contempt finding by a court, but may end up costing you more just to rectify it in the end.

The attorneys at Broder & Orland LLC with offices in Westport and Greenwich, practice solely in matrimonial and family law, and have significant experience in counseling and developing an appropriate strategy to optimize the desired financial result.